Queen of Disgusting

This is another song I wish there was a better version of. Unlike “Saturday Night Live,” however, this song was written for a two-guitar band. In fact, it was probably written and banged around in All-Girl Band rehearsal (as opposed to lovingly nurtured in the privacy of my living room), now that I think about it. Tex, Lori and Clementine really brought it to life, and it sounds much better with them. Ah, well. This acoustic version will have to do for now, bum notes and all.

A spiritual-romantic plea sent by a Devastional drunk from a Sunday afternoon bender in the West Village. The title was taken from a mis-heard Van Morrison lyric. Verse chords lifted from Randy Newman’s “Baltimore.” The Vietnam-Vet part happened to my friend Kris, not me. My (gay) friend Bill heard us play the song live once, and afterwards he asked me incredulously what gay bar actually had “opera” on the jukebox — which tempted me to change the lyric. Anyhow, more or less true.

Queen of Disgusting

Happy hour in a gay bar on a Sunday afternoon
And I’m thinking how I thought that you were joking
And at the juke box a fat old queen plays another Abba tune
I like Abba, but I wish that the fucking thing was broken

You are the patron saint
Of light that’s always faint
Of ripped stockings and a lipstick smear
And all the things that I hold dear

Oh babe, I’m calling
Without these wings I’m falling
They tell me you’re the queen of disgusting

He takes a stool beside me and he says his name is Mike
And he tells me he’s a veteran from the war
He tells me he’s just looking for a place to watch the game
And he’s never seen a bar like this before

We try to watch the game
But it’s just too damn lame
The band agrees to yield
There’s blood all over Soldier’s Field

3 Replies to “Queen of Disgusting”

  1. You are 100% correct, Tim. And while we’re playing the allusion game here, I might as well add that “He takes a stool beside me, and he says his name is Mike” was stolen from, er, I mean, an allusion to Rachel Sweet’s Devastationalist classic barroom ballad, “Wildwood Saloon” (written by Liam Sternberg).

  2. Oh… I thought “Mike” was an allusion to “Mike the Marine”, Morningside Heights personage of late 1970s/ early 1980s vintage… an irascible Vietnam Vet once famous for his work behind the counter at the now deservedly defunct Academy Luncheonette.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *